When distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder…

I was recently talking to a friend about the frustrating relationship phenomenon of distance. The kind where something just feels off between you and someone you love. Where the fluttering butterflies in your stomach seem to slow down, almost as if they’ve gone to sleep; it’s possible they will wake up again but what if they don’t? What if this is the new reality? What causes it? How do you “fix” it?

Ahhh to fix it… that’s what we all want when things aren’t going right in our lives. Fix. ASAP. That’s certainly how I live my life. It pains me to think of the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes when I am uncertain.

My husband and I go through phases like this. Interestingly enough, our intangible feelings of distance often follow periods of literal distance. When life gets in the way of us dating one another, we can usually predict an impending off-ness to occur. We just went through this recently in fact. And despite knowing somewhat when these feelings will crop up, there is no formula to fix it. We just have to be aware and intentional about getting back on track.

Relationships are so complicated.

And what about the question of the day, “why?” Why do we go through ups and downs? Wouldn’t it be easier if things were steady? Perhaps monotonous, but at least they wouldn’t be uncomfortable. And we wouldn’t get that out of control feeling we all get when we don’t know what someone else is thinking and we are forced to just believe what they say and make our peace with it.

As scary as it is and as much as I hate to admit it, no matter how well you think you know someone there will always be a piece you just never fully know. How could you? How could you see every fleeting thought or every topic mulled over when not in your presence? It’s not possible.

There are no answers really. Just the reality that we all have to accept it somehow. Accept that which is unknown. And trust that the truth really is the truth.

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