The Truth About My Messy House and My Messy Life

You know what really gets to me? People who seem like they have it all together. You know the ones… the mom of four who you’d never guess was a mom at all by the looks of her washboard abs. Or the seemingly super happy person who always posts pics on Facebook of exciting adventures with their perfect family that surely never fights or disagrees about anything. I know it’s my naivete getting the best of me, but at times I actually believe the lie that some people have it all together. My mind begins to spiral and I start feeling really bad about my own level of accomplishment – or lack thereof.

If I think about it hard enough I know that no one has a blemish-free life. We like to pretend we do. We overcompensate. You know, look completely polished on the outside so people don’t find out that on the inside we feel chaotic and confused and lonely. We are so incredibly fearful of losing people, or losing the approval of people, that we choose to hide instead. What would people think if they knew the truth? That the woman with the washboard abs spends three hours in the gym every morning while her kids are at school. And don’t even talk about how bad she wants to say yes to that coffee cake only to find herself skipping breakfast most mornings in favor of just the coffee. Or that the Facebook friend only posts their absolute best, cutest pics and not the ones that highlight pimples and back fat.

I wonder if we were a little more honest about what’s going on inside and a little less protective of the outside part of us, the part everyone sees, that the people we encounter would feel that they’ve finally met their kindred spirit. If our vulnerability would actually enhance our relationships instead of turn people running, like we so often fear.

This isn’t easy though. I get that. So in order to clear up any rumors that I have it all together (ha, ha right?) here are a few insights into my inner world:

  • I can’t remember the last time I swept the floors and my house is collecting dust balls in ever corner.
  • Not only do I hardly ever sweep, when I do I am one of those people who doesn’t move the furniture around but rather sweeps around it. So if you were to remove everything off our living room floor you’d find a couch-shaped dust pile, an exersaucer-shaped dust pile and a variety of other furniture and toy-shaped dust piles throughout the house.
  • Lately, out of the blue, I have been having irrational fears about Ainsley getting sick.
  • There has been a huge Diapers.com box on the floor of our entryway for like four days.
  • I am one of those people who doesn’t take the clothes out of the dryer until I do a load of wash and actually need to use our dryer. So there is currently a load of clothes in our dryer that has been there for about five/six days since I last did laundry.
  • Most days I can be found wearing one of five outfits: (1) black leggings with blue v-neck fleece I “borrowed” from a friend 12 years ago, (2) maternity jeans with red shirt and gray hoody, (3) Jake’s navy blue pajama pants with Duke sweatshirt, (4) Jake’s gray sweatpants with USC hoody, or (5) black workout pants with white tank top.
  • More often the than not, the above five outfits have bodily fluids stained on them.
  • I much prefer to post pics of my daughter on social media sites than of myself because I have not yet come to terms with my post-preggo body and would prefer to hide it a little longer.

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So there. That’s my life right now. No makeup, unpolished. My homemaking skills are still in process and I should probably incorporate a few more outfits into the rotation. And while I’d like to say it feels good to be honest, it’s still a little scary. But maybe if we all did this it wouldn’t be so bad.

Linking up with Still Being Molly

Comments

  1. C.C. Claybrook says:

    Love this!! Right now dishes sit crusting in the sink and my son lay sulking alone in his room after a Grammy-worthy performance this morning. I just want to go back to bed:-/

  2. Kristin Haywood says:

    I love this Angela. The cleaning, check. The one of 4-5 outfits including stretchy pants and my youngest is 5 but I do have a chronic pain illness so I’ll use that as an excuse. I could post much much more but that’s not necessary. Just know, you’re not alone. You’re so right and I love the Facebook posts of a real moment. And we would all feel a lot less alone if we not only admitted our leggings and 13 year old sweat shirts but considered what are neighbors is going through before we brush them to the side because of a FB post or gossip said from a third or fourth party.

    You should think about a book Angela so that new moms can feel a lot less alone.

    • acharlescoach says:

      Haha, not sure about the book but thanks for the encouragement! It’s nice to know too I’m not the only one who still has clothes from more than a decade ago!

  3. Angela, I love truth and honesty. I have found it is live giving and relationship building. Thanks for your willingness to do just that. I appreciate how our relationship has grown. Love you.

  4. Kelly Knight says:

    Love this Ang! Love your honesty. I have a hard time with that too. Though I don’t have kids yet, I have a hard time keeping it together because of school, work, travel, etc. Sometimes it feels like everything is coming unravelled and I can’t do a thing to stop it. Know this: you’re definitely not alone, we love your insights and you are BEAUTIFUL inside and out. <3

    • acharlescoach says:

      Thanks Kelly! Yes, no matter what our circumstances we have a tendency to busy ourselves to the point of a spiral. Glad to hear it’s not just me! Thanks for commenting!!

  5. Sarah Mazanec says:

    Ang, you are right on target! If it wasn’t for Marty getting a maid for our anniversary gift, our house would be a war zone! Last week was probably the worst week since Patrick has been born. He was extremely sick and Marty was gone all week! As for getting ready during the day, workout clothes it is… All day everyday!! Thanks for your honesty, thoughts, etc. Believe me.. We are all thinking the same thing! Miss you and sweet A!

    • acharlescoach says:

      So sorry Patrick was sick!! I am terrified for that day with Ainsley for some reason. Hence the irrational thoughts. :) That’s awesome about the maid! I am guessing your house looks much better than mine at the moment. :)

  6. Love this. My reality right now is me pumping breastmilk in my car in a mall parking lot, where I’m attending a celebration for work. My insta selfie would involve me hiding under a nursing cover hoping my coworkers don’t drive by. And with every tick of the pump secretly longing for the day I am done with breast feeding. But feeling guilty that the longing exists. And I’m wishing that I was instead wearing my workout pants and a sweatshirt and sitting on my couch cleaning spit up off of me. Though I like to work so often it feels like everything is spiraling faster than I can run to keep up. So thank you for your honesty dear friend. I think all of us are right there with you.

    • acharlescoach says:

      Haha. I love it. Oh the trials of the nursing mother. I remember them well since I was right there with you one month ago! :) Good job for sticking with it even when it is hard (i.e. public pumping)! Glad we’re all in it together!!

  7. Courtney says:

    Love it, Ang! Thanks for sharing! You are beautiful! Your daughter is not going to remember the dust balls or grey hoodie or box sitting on the floor (unless she gets to play in it), she is going to savor the sweet times she got to spend with you…so keep it up, Mama!

    • acharlescoach says:

      Thanks Court! Shoot, I should have let her play in the box. Then I could have pretended it was sitting there for a reason. :)

  8. Amen, sister! I can totally relate. I wrote this post a while back: http://bybmg.blogspot.com/2013/05/this-is-real-life.html

    My kitchen floor currently has caked on stuff under the high chair…and our crawling baby may have eaten some fallen cheerios from said area this morning. :)

  9. Hi folks,
    The website really isn’t mine. It is “FlyLady” Marly Cilly’s website. I wish I knew about her when I was at your stage of life. Lots of great, judgement free tools, tricks and beautiful mindset to achieve peace in our households.

  10. In case the website didn’t show up… http://www.flylady.net/

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