The Book That Will Change Everything

As I look back on the initial weeks following Ainsley’s birth, I am thankful for some bright spots amidst the sleeplessness and near-debilitating anxiety. For example, remember how all my preggo friends who were due around the same time had their babies before me? Well, once we all had our babies I stopped being bitter and none of that mattered anymore. I was grateful that we shared our pregnancy journeys together and I was even more thankful that they were along for the postpartum ride.

So one night around 3:00am, in a state of delirium, my friend and I were commiserating about how hard our lives were. It’s kind of ridiculous thinking back now. Here we were, two new mommies of beautiful, healthy baby girls and all we could think about was the hard stuff. It took weeks before we were truly able to appreciate how blessed we really were. Are.


But that was the frame of mind we were in so… we were texting back and forth, trying to stay awake so we wouldn’t accidentally nod off and drop our children and somehow our conversation took a hilariously inappropriate turn. We started coming up with chapter titles for the book we would one day write, promoting a celibate lifestyle. Sex is not worth it because it could lead to pregnancy, we thought. And pregnancy could lead to childbirth. And spiraling down the rabbit trail we went. (Please note: it was 3:00am, we were delirious and we love our children very much.)

And still, that conversation continues periodically as we encounter new stages and challenges. Other friends have joined in too. So I wanted to share said titles with all of you. (Please note: There are more, far too inappropriate to include in this public sphere, but I invite all moms to let your minds wander…)

  • Chapter 1: Nursing is Not Natural (Subtitle: Just because moms produce milk and babies can suck, does not mean nursing comes naturally)
  • Chapter 2: Formula Poop Stinks
  • Chapter 3: How to Properly Remove a Poop-Saturated Onesie (Subtitle: This little factoid is a game changer)
  • Chapter 4: What’s a Shower? (Subtitle: Is that odor me?)
  • Chapter 5: Is that Poop or Food Stained on my Shirt?
  • Chapter 6: Creative Substitutes for Nursing Pads (Subtitle: Because who has time to go to the store?)
  • Chapter 7: My Everything Hurts
  • Chapter 8: How Could My Husband Do This To Me?
  • Chapter 9: I Don’t Know Myself Anymore
  • Chapter 10: The Diaper Is For Peeing On, Not The Changing Table

Possible book titles include:

  • The Many Layers of Motherhood
  • My Complicated Mom Life
  • How Could My Husband Do This To Me? (Subtitle: See Chapter 8)

Want to help us brainstorm more? Join us in the comment section below. This book is sure to be a New York Times Bestseller.


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